Writings on Race » NubianImp Projects

This racial shit? It’s not in my mind

Jun 162008

Contentious was the word used.

I found it curious. No had called me that before. I had to look it up to ensure that I knew what it meant:

1.tending to argument or strife; quarrelsome: a contentious crew.
2.causing, involving, or characterized by argument or controversy: contentious issues.
3.disputatious, argumentative.
4. Given to contention; quarrelsome. See Synonyms at argumentative, belligerent

I sighed and said Oh… do you mean that I am Uppity? And the person replied no. That they knew that identity politics were important to me and that I could be assertive…. etc…. Perhaps I was manifesting by focussing on this… etc…

Black Men Playing With Men

Dykes, Sapphists & Other Cousins, Our Actions > BDSM, Sex & Gender, Writings on Race No Responses »

Jun 012008

May I stand beside you and help hold space as an ally?

I asked this of a woman on a forum who was being given a hard, hard time by some of the members.

As a dyke, I found the conversation disturbing and alienating. It reminded me of conversations with white people about race. It didn’t feel safe. If I was a black gay man or a straight man who played with men, and I had any personal agency, I would have been cautious about outing myself on that particular board based on what I’d been reading.

I’ve dated/had in service, men, women, M2Fs and F2Ms. They are people. I’ve been looking for names of the International Master/Slave from – I believe – 2002. Gay man with a Dyke in service. LOVELY people with no question in theor mind or in that of others. And I’m pretty certain that one of the ways she served was to provide oral service… A good friend of mine who identifies as Straight (he really is) had a dyke in service whom he used sexually. She was no less a dyke for serving her master as he wished.

I couldn’t understand why I was seeing a debate rather than an attempt at understanding. If one is a straight identified man who engages in SM with other men or CDs ot TGs… why does anyone else care? Why is anyone else invested in defining your identity? If that same man is playing “”sexually”, with any of those same people, again, I ask… why all the the care and investment?

Who does it threaten? Advantage? Disadvantage? The local of the discussion seems awfully homo/transphobic to me.Â Gender, sex, and sexual orientation may overlap… but they don’t have to. Genitals are not the final arbiter and neither is the activity that involves or does not involve them. The locus of identity is not from the point of view of the observer but from the subject!

Oh. And what about women? How come there is no issue there? Huh? ‘Cause it’s sexy? Hawt? What?

Less judgment more questions and listening.

YEESH.

Info Out: Giving up Distinctions – June 16 deadline

Arts & Culture, Writings on Race No Responses »

May 092008

Someone is getting all artistic about the bits & pieces that swirl in my mind… helps me in being grounded that my line of thought – just because it isn’t “popular” or “mainstream” or “comfortable” for others – isn’t completely fucking CRAZY. What I need are folks who can keep up or jog ahead so I can try and catch them… maybe take turns following the leader? Yeah. That would be good. Good and nutritious.

All is quiet…

Writings on Race No Responses »

May 082008

Silence is golden.

Huh.

Sometimes it speaks VOLUMES.

Sometimes just fucking rude.

Ticking boxes with my dull pencil…

Choices… I pick…

Writings on Race No Responses »

May 042008

The Dark Crystal.

Still holds up.
……………..

The question is: Do you fight

For what you think is right

???

Do you sit?

Or do you fight.

???

‘Til my last dollar is gone

Writings on Race No Responses »

Apr 292008

Who knew? Well a few actually.
I’m stubborn. I have faith.
I suckle at the teat of benefit of the doubt.
I give what I ask for in return.

Look, I didn’t put myself on this auction block and I’m tired of having my teef checked.

Note to self:
Availability DOES NOT EQUAL Capacity
Presence DOES NOT EQUAL Worth

How about leaving me with a couple of bucks so I can buy a last meal? How about letting me keep my cash and buying me a meal?

Suckling from my breast and giving affection in return is depleting. Parasites = **shiver** Symbiosis is about equivalent exchange.

Maybe the real problem here is setting the price too low. Or trusting that when sliding scale is offered on a $20 value that one will drop more than a loon or a toon or a fin for that matter. Or that the thing doesn’t turn so that yer footing most of the bill.

Huh.

Paying and paying.

Can I keep a dollar or two?

Or how about this… How about YOU pay ME? Tear open the secret stash and offer it up instead of rooting around and widening the accidental rent that is ‘causing change to fall and be scooped up without return.

And when yer done… spread yourself and fuck yerself for me. Nice and slow. And make sure you look me in the eye. Don’t close them and pretend I’m not here. Watching. Appreciating. Getting PAID. But don’t get started before I can pour a martini, adjust the lights and settle in a comfy chair.’Cause Mama wants to see aaaaallllll of what you got.

Writing and writing and writing

Writings on Race No Responses »

Apr 262008

There’s this interesting thread in the anonymous section of a forum I belong to. It’s about: Racism and Racialization.

I was gonna post there and decided that I needed to keep my unformed stuff over here where I can keep my thoughts separate from being seen as direct responses… LOL!

Hmmmm… I find it interesting that the subject causes so many strong feelings on BOTH sides. That there is anger on BOTH sides (POC/non-POC). And that anger seems to be about people saying “I hate this and want it to stop making me feel horrible!” Which is a CLEAR indication to me that EVERYONE suffers from the overt/covert systemic/endemic crap we deal with in North America (my living experience) day in and day out. And a big part of that is that none of us like generalizations that take away our agency.
Continue reading »

On Racism & Racialization

Writings on Race No Responses »

Apr 262008

Too much, too much, too much…

Writings on Race No Responses »

Apr 262008

.
More reflection and further conversation about the D/s Dinner/salon I hosted on April 22.08 led me think a little more about this:

http://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/la-oe-frost11apr11,0,7418243.story
http://www.latimes.com/news/la-fg-mosley10apr10,1,7848100.story
http://lolitawolf.blogspot.com/2008/04/nazi-fantasies.html
http://www.slate.com/id/2188752/

And remember this:

http://www.iron-rose.com/vijohnson/docs/blic2.htm

All because today I had yet another communication commenting on how my personal choice of language about my personal stuff was disturbing. And once again I had to make it clear that I was talking about the two square feet that I stand on and the skin that I inhabit.

How is it that we as a community can talk about Rape Play and Littles and scenes that involve heavy amounts of blood and it’s OK? We even seem to be working on moving through Trans issues – which has been TOUGH and ROUGH. How is it that folks can talk about these things being important to them and having space for them and whether they are SSC/RACK and people actually stick around for the discussion?
Continue reading »

Payment

Reflections & Ruminations, Self-Indulgent, Writings on Race No Responses »

Apr 232008

I was told I would end up paying. And I did. Big fucking surprise. There are always only a handful of folks willing to stick up their heads like whack-a-moles and eventually, no matter how skilled, they get thumped.

I wish I could withdraw the bounty I offered up – well – used as a shield really… or evidence. I wish I could eat those words. Keep them safe from prying puerile eyes and tongues inclined to repetition. Safe from reinterpretation.

All I’ve done is create more work at a time when my body is failing me physically.

Mama is tired. And as we all know… fatigue leads to mistakes. And as I scribbled on paper and passed to a friend: I can’t keep my defenses up. So fallible. So flawed.

I sometimes feel like a knight. In service to something larger than me. Desiring to be in service to something larger than me. And beside me, my trusty squire. In service to me and the vision I in turn serve.

Sometimes I am a queen. Not the Queen of Everything, but the Queen of Quite-a-lot. A dame in service with need of a consort with whom I can sojourn.

The wind. Gentle and destructive. Loved and feared.

Being self-reflective can be a dangerous thing.

Contemplating privelage and race = tired

Writings on Race No Responses »

Apr 162008

A forum that I visit regularily posted a link to an blog post at http://www.racialicious.com by Kate Harding on Racism Fatigue. That in turn reminded me of an incident I had at work last week. Continue reading »

White on White crime – It’s time to stop it…

Writings on Race No Responses »

Apr 132008

You know that phenomenon of “Black on Black” crime?
Here’s a satire from Slate.com. See how these things serve to shine a light?

White-on-White Crime: It’s time to end the conspiracy of silence.
By Jefferson Morley
Slate.com — http://72.3.228.81/id/43770

The post script at the end has the following:

Related in Slate.com

David Plotz offers this modest proposal for stopping white-on-white crime in high schools, while Chatterbox blames suburban high-school shootings on Rotisserie baseball.

Related on the Web

Waylon Jennings sang the country hymn to white lawbreaking “Good Ol’ Boys” on The Dukes of Hazzard–a popular TV show extolling the social dysfunction of two young white layabouts and their sexually alluring younger cousin. This site explores white-trash food (often “found at the scenes of crimes next to the assault rifle”). These VA hospitals in Texas are notorious for fostering government dependency and malingering among the white underclass. White Trash Com is an unrepentant celebration of the white lifestyle; it features links to white reading material and the objects of white lust. There are, however, progressives dedicated to fighting this cultural decay–for example, scholars of “whiteness studies.” Also, be sure to visit the Center for the Study of White American Culture and the Race Traitor Web site, which teaches that “treason to whiteness is loyalty to humanity.” And click here for the Department of Justice’s criminal victimization statistics on victim/offender relationships in 12 U.S. cities.

What is the PC word for non-POCs?

Writings on Race No Responses »

Mar 312008

I often say White. What I am training myself to say is Caucasian-appearing. Why? ‘Cause there are a whole lot of folks out there who *look* white, but ain’t. My granny is pale (white on some places like under her arms) but clearly has “black” features. She doesn’t pass. (Me? I’m a milky chocolate like my father… who is actually closer to 70% cocoa! LOL!) But there are others who do pass. And they are cousins. And we can’t ALWAYS identify them.
Continue reading »

Protecting Mine

Our Thoughts > D/s & M/s, Writings on Race No Responses »

Mar 312008

Questions were asked in a forum:

This “protection” you have over your subs..does this include protection when they do shyt or say shyt thats not a reflection of your words or actions?? Do you allow the whips to fall on them as they may from their actions without protection? Or do you expect the respect of being approached by the one he/she has disrespected or the infraction has been brought up against??

I was telling a friend of mine a little about that and we both agreed on one thing. Touch mine? And I will kill you, and kill you, and kill you, and kill you…and then when you are dead I will kill you some more before I kill you one more time. NO ONE touches mine. PERIOD.
Continue reading »

Why I am here…

Reflections & Ruminations, Writings on Race No Responses »

Mar 312008

Dark Connections is an online group I’ve recently begun to look at. They asked me three questions about joining an online forum for POCs.

Where I came from…

Writings on Race No Responses »

Mar 302008

A common language and understanding allow for clear agreements. Memorandums of Understanding. Contracts.

I am a child of Martin Luther Kings Dream, but I am also a child adrift.

Of my genetic heritage, I am similar in physicality/appearance and in legal birth name only. I don’t share the same accent, or vernacular, or dialect. I don’t share a similar sense of place or formative environment. I am not from the same place as my parents, or of our ancestry.

I was birthed and grew up in North America. Canada to be specific. On the western prairies. My sibling and I grew up, in part, in the suburbs and in part on the edge of the city of our birth. Family was parents and my maternal grandmother. The three of them and came from some place else. While we are all from the Americas, they were born in the South while I was born in the North.

My parents were birthed and raised on the same hot continent as each other, but not as me. In the same country. In the same city. I am of the Western Canadian prairies. There was always snow in April for my birthday. They share the same accent, vernacular, and dialect. Culturally, we are not the same.

Opportunity and choice brought them here. Number, distance and circumstance meant that I was raised as a child of THIS continent.

I am not from the same place as my parents or of our ancestry.

I was surrounded by the hetero-sociality of Here.

I feel a responsibility to not let their seed die. However, I end my mother’s matriarchal line. A powerful line. A line I do not know. My father’s line is unknown as well.

Operation: Do Something!

Culture & Community, Writings on Race No Responses »

Mar 282008

Message from Darque who is a person who posts over on the Yahoo Group for Black BDSMers: Dark Connections

Ok I ‘m pitching this one out to everyone that considers themselves a part of the Community. I’ve been looking at various posts, blogs and opinions and most of it is at the core complaining. Now venting can be theraputic but in the end sometimes a situation calls for actions.

Now I am not talking about anything grand actions on anyone’s part but what if each one of us did something, just something that uplifts or empowers the community. It can be attending a munch, actually being there to listen to someone, give someone pure advice, support a dungeon, reach out to one new person, let go of a grudge, anything pure of heart. Don’t do it to be seen, just do it because there was a need for it to be done. Do something and not take credit for it. Do something nice anonymously for someone. Just invest some pure goodwill.

I’m calling this Operation: Do Something, and if you believe in what I’m saying please use the graphic above and spread the word.

This community needs you, time to make it yours.

Darque

More White Satire

Writings on Race No Responses »

Mar 282008

You know that phenomenon of “Black on Black” crime?
Here’s a satire from Slate.com. See how these things serve to shine a light?

White-on-White Crime: It’s time to end the conspiracy of silence.
By Jefferson Morley
Slate.com — http://72.3.228.81/id/43770

The post script at the end has the following:

Related in Slate.com

David Plotz offers this modest proposal for stopping white-on-white crime in high schools, while Chatterbox blames suburban high-school shootings on Rotisserie baseball.

Related on the Web

Waylon Jennings sang the country hymn to white lawbreaking “Good Ol’ Boys” on The Dukes of Hazzard–a popular TV show extolling the social dysfunction of two young white layabouts and their sexually alluring younger cousin. This site explores white-trash food (often “found at the scenes of crimes next to the assault rifle”). These VA hospitals in Texas are notorious for fostering government dependency and malingering among the white underclass. White Trash Com is an unrepentant celebration of the white lifestyle; it features links to white reading material and the objects of white lust. There are, however, progressives dedicated to fighting this cultural decay–for example, scholars of “whiteness studies.” Also, be sure to visit the Center for the Study of White American Culture and the Race Traitor Web site, which teaches that “treason to whiteness is loyalty to humanity.” And click here for the Department of Justice’s criminal victimization statistics on victim/offender relationships in 12 U.S. cities.

Brown people take it and so can you

Writings on Race No Responses »

Mar 262008

A person on a forum I participate in posted the following as part of the ongoing debate about the blog Stuff White People Like:

Let me get this straight … racial slurs against white folks (or more severe actions that would otherwise be considered racist if coming from a white person and directed at a poc) are ethical, maybe even humorous, because systemic oppression based on race doesn’t apply to white folks and thus those words/actions cause no harm. Is that right?

I spit. And then I had to write.

I was having a conversation this weekend with an older, queer, white woman. We were talking about how facing our demons could make us powerful. She used an example of something that is common to women, occasional in it’s occurrence, HORRIFIC without question and not, generally seen or commented on. And I looked at her. Hard. And I realized that the piece she was missing is the ongoing psychic damage of being visible and constantly under attack or looking for the next or defending against the current.

You’re offended by Stuff White People Like? So what?

Writings on Race No Responses »

Mar 052008

Look.

I have to put up with shit and noise everyday. And in Vancouver, it seems like every NGO, GO or NFP wants to have an elder at their event.

Nah.

Be uncomfortable. Know what it feels like. FEEL that? Well imagine feeling that several times a week or a day as you move around as opposed to JUST on some fucking website that you don’t ever have to visit again.

“Ooohhhh! your hair it so… so… so…. can I touch it? Where do you get it done? Can they do mine?”

Fuck off. Go eat some food with your fingers at an african restaurant and tell your pals how you went out on an edge. Just don’t tell me.

Wait. that’s inflicting them on others…

Look. I’ve been amazed by the “other” before too. So I get it.

Gah.

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NubianImp Projects

This racial shit? It’s not in my mind

Info Out: Giving up Distinctions – June 16 deadline

All is quiet…

Choices… I pick…

‘Til my last dollar is gone

Writing and writing and writing

On Racism & Racialization

Too much, too much, too much…

Payment

Contemplating privelage and race = tired

White on White crime – It’s time to stop it…

What is the PC word for non-POCs?

Protecting Mine

Why I am here…

Where I came from…

Operation: Do Something!

More White Satire

Brown people take it and so can you

You’re offended by Stuff White People Like? So what?

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