Can a contract and Rape Co-exists?

 Our Thoughts > D/s & M/s, Sex & Gender  No Responses »
Oct 272005
 

The one thing that I see frequently happening within and without of our community is a slackness with words. I’m as guilty as any and perhaps even more so on occasion.

I believe that people are entitled to their feelings and to their perceptions of situations. And in doing so, people will use the language that they feel is most descriptive, appropriate, accurate, convenient…

I also believe that “rape” involves a degree of intent on the behalf of the person committing the act. I know there are those who have been accused whom I personally doubt had “rape” as their intention.
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 Posted by at 11:33 pm  Tagged with: , , , ,

Arguing with my charge

 Our Thoughts > D/s & M/s  No Responses »
Oct 242005
 

Personally… I’m not receptive to my charge arguing with me. Disagreeing? Sure. Advocating a point of view? Go for it. But raised voices or confrontational language or belligerent behaviour are things I can not have in my relationship. I’ve experienced it in the past and have decided that I will not go there now or in the future. Period. And I am quite willing to issue ultimatums like the one you got Laura.

In my experience, “arguments” that are really about a charge’s personal resistance are easy. They require time, communication, listening and compassion. The ones that are about toothpaste caps or bad tapes from the past are more challenging. And for me, I find the most important thing I can do is to stay grounded yet flexible — to be willing to lay down the law and stick to it (’cause I’m a marshmallow underneath it all).
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 Posted by at 9:00 pm  Tagged with: , , ,

Wired into my sex

 Our Thoughts > D/s & M/s, Self-Indulgent, Sex & Gender  No Responses »
Oct 132005
 

I went through this period (hell I’m not convinced its over) where it seemed impossible, while my boi was fucking me, to cum unless I was hurting hym and hy was screaming/yelling like the police should be called…

* sigh *

Gotta squishy… gotta go

 Posted by at 10:50 pm  Tagged with: , , , ,

Financial Slavery

 Our Thoughts > D/s & M/s  No Responses »
Oct 082005
 

For years I have heard tales and read fiction about people living off of another. The real life tales tend to end badly and the fiction… welll… its fiction. And it seems on the real life ones that the person who is the recipient/taker always seems to have evil qualities.

I think this must be a very particular type of experience.

In my past I lived with a charge who paid when we went out and for everything ovefr the basics of life. And even ssome of the basics. I picked paid ___ amount/month into the household expenses and that was it. And yes, the amounts spent on me were expected and agreed upon. However, there was a serious disparity in our earnings in addition to the power dynamic. The one thing I did do was to control expenditures over a certain amount and ensure moneywas put away for the person’s future. It worked fine.

A dominant I know controls the earnings of their charges. They pay towards the house and recieve an allowance. The rest goes into savings and RRSPs.

I think whether control of finances works REALLY depends on the people involved and their dynamic, the amount of money being pulled in by each, budgeting/future planning skills of each, individual material values and personal integrity of the persons involved.

Does anyone have an example or personal experince that worked?

 Posted by at 1:38 am  Tagged with: , , , ,
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