Looking around I said to myself the other day:

Dear Laundry:

You know I love your freshness when you are done, and the clean variety you offer. Without a question the site of you piled in a corner awaiting my attentions plagues my mind every time I search for something to wear. As the stock of dozens of red panties dwindles, and I am forced to wear my “good” bras to work, make no mistake: I know I am doing you wrong. I am troubled.

It’s not you. It’s me. I’ve been seduced by Pride.

Late July and through August in Vancouver is a massive all out celebration of Gay Pride. And I love to drink from every cup that organizations around my city are pouring. My favourites:

Bride of Pride:
Big surprise Right? Not only am I a LeatherDyke but I’m one of the organizers of Canadian Mayhem who put on Vancouver’s annual Women’s Play Party for past present and future women. So much of pride in Vancouver has historically, during my residence here been focused on men. And anything sexual… was focused on men. BoP (as the party is known for short) brings together over 100 hot, sexy, passionate women for a weekend launch that KICKS ASS! Tickets in advance and available at the door.

The Dyke March:
I live ½ a block off Commercial Drive. If I’m late getting out onto the streets, from my window I can see the hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of dykes, queers, lesbians, dogs, children, bikes, parasols, Birkenstocks, hoola hoops, etc, etc taking over the neighbourhood. We meet at McSpadden Park and wind our way to Grandview Park where we sit on the grass and take in the entertainment. It’s a good thing. This year I’m marching with the Canadian Mayhem banner.YAY!

Pride in Art:
Over a week jammed with arts and culture originating from the queer community. While there is an abundance of local talent/excellence, there is often a national or international flavour added to the mix. Highlights for me are the Visual Art Exhibition at the Roundhouse; the opening ceremonies; Queerotica – which invites queers to read their own works or the works of others; and the Cabaret. This year I plan to jam in the agenda: the Screaming Weenies event Clean Sheets; SWELL – a performance featuring Anna Camilleri and Ivan Coyote; Transgressions – featuring Vancouver’s favourite concert pianist Rachel Kiyo Iwaasa and the AMAZING Cris Derksen; and… even more stuff. Really.

Vancouver Pride Parade:
The day after the Dyke March the WHOLE community takes to the streets. Is it San Francisco? Or Toronto? Or New York? No. But it’s here in my home town and is a key anchor to the month that makes me so tired. This year Canadian Mayhem will be taking it to he streets and sharing space with Metro Vancouver Kink (MVK) the monthly play party of choice for Vancouver’s dykes. They’re a pansexual group, but most of the dungeon monitors are dykes – and you know how we like to do it!

Out on Screen Queer Film and Video Festival:
How could one not love sitting in the dark looking at stories about who we are? Huh? This combined with it being the best place to cruise, flirt and score a date that does not involve loud music and a dance floor in Vancouver. I try to hit the opening gala and closing party because it’s full of Vancouver’s who is who of the queer scene, has great food, and the films are always great. I do the Coast is Queer series because I often know the participants in the films being shown. I do the Porn Night because I’m a big ‘ole perve with a raging libido. I do any film involving black people and consider twice any film focused on women or gender queers. Films often sell out. Use the online planner available at their site and get your tickets early.

 

I’m planning to be a big ‘ole queer during Vancouver’s Pride. There’s all kinds of LeatherDyke events I’m attending during August.

So… Stockholm Pride has this nifty thing that asks “How Hetero are you?” based on an analysis of one’s Twitter feed. Quote “the way our fellow humans judge us can be based on the words we use as well as who’s hand we’re holding.”

1% Heteroladykona is 1% HeteroHow hetero are you? Try out any Twitter name and get the real picture. Are we really the words we use? Hope to see you at Stockholm Pride!

Apparently, the words “butch, community, pride, gay, and ass” in my Twitter feed determined my “hetero” percentage. Am I surprised? Not really. Apparently I have “nothing of it in [me]. Nothing at all.” So… that makes me 99% gay/lesbian/queer… something.

Wil Weaton of Star Trek fame is 67%, Anthony Robbins is 79% and The Mayor of Vancouver doesn’t use cliche words and so the the system can’t figure it out.

I was gonna start typing in the queers and sex-positive folk I follow on Twitter but I was skeered. What if they are waaay more hetero than I thought? What then?

Wonder what the 1% in me consists of? Wonder what part of my body is hetero? My knee cap? An ear? Maybe one of my hips? What do you think?

Got suggestions?

 

My plan is to be an out proud homo this Pride. It will be the first spent together for me and my boi and I want to soak up all the gay I can possibly stand.

Below is a smattering of where you can expect to find me over the coming weeks, but it is in no way the full list. I’m still figuring out all the goodness for Pride in Art and picking films for Out on Screen!

Canadian Mayhem’s Bride of Pride party will of course be a highlight, and I plan to do the Dyke March and the Annual Pride Parade with the Mayhem banner. Join us as we walk? Drop a line into the comments!

How about you? If you are in and around Vancouver, what are you up to this Pride. Will I see you there?

Canadian Mayhem presents…

The Bride of Pride Party
Friday, July 31, 2009

A kinky, sexy party for all Queer Women in Vancouver

http://canadianmayhem.com

Bride of Pride is a BDSM/sex playparty for kinky women* into queer, woman-to-woman BDSM. Dress in whatever makes you feel good, bring your toys and your playpartners, and come join us! We encourage costumes and flights of fancy, but we won’t turn you away if you’re not in fetishwear! Just for fun, we’ll have a few special theme areas, like puppy play, and ageplay and wrestling space and more!

Doors 8 pm – midnight, Party until 1 am.
The WISE Hall, 1882 Adanac St, Vancouver.

*Who’s Invited:   All past, present and future women, of any orientation (homo, bi, hetero, trans), who enjoy woman-to-woman kink and BDSM. Women of all experience levels are welcome! Transguys welcome!

Tickets will be $15 in advance, or $20 at the door.
Details: http://canadianmayhem.com

Dykes on Bikes @ The DykeMarch 2009

Saturday, August 1

http://www.vancouverdykemarch.com/
Gather 11:30am at the west wide of McSpadden Park.
Starts at noon.

Dykes on Bikes @ the Pride Parade 2009

Sunday, August 2

For those starting on the East Side
(Oh, the joys of the queer-women biker gang run through the heart of the city…)

Commercial and 3rd Ave. Between 10 & 10:30 arrival, leave the east end for the west end at 11 am.
Parade starts at Robson and Thurlow! http://www.vancouverpride.ca/parade-route
Offical start time is noon… bykes arrive at Robson & Thurlow at 11am (or earlier, or later).
Go to the head of the parade. No paperwork required.

Details, Parade Guidelines and BykeDykes mailing list!
http://bykedykes.vancouverleather.com/

LEATHERDYKE Post-Pride Picnic in the Park

MONDAY, August 3

4pm –> 8pm
Where: Trout Lake / John Hendry Park 3350 Victoria Drive, southeast corner

Highly informal. Free. All welcome. A bunch o’ leatherdykes are throwing down blankets, laughs, and good company. Come on down, bring your partner/s, friends (kink-friendly), a blanket, food n drink, something to share, chairs, sunscreen…and most importantly, yourself! (*In good weather only)

http://www.vancouverleather.com/pride2009

Queerotica

Thursday, August 6th, 2009

Back again with an evening of LIVE readings of queer erotic fiction and poetry from some of Vancouver’s hottest writers!
Starts at @ 7:31pm sharp @ The Roundhouse Community Arts and Recreation Centre
Vancouver, BC, Canada as part of the Pride in Art Festival 2009

$5 (suggested donation) goes to support the artists directly!
Produced by Elaine Miller and Afuwa Granger
http://elainemiller.com/queerotica

 

Vancouver’s LGTB Centre is hosting the second in a series of community “Coffee & Conversation” sessions on the Drive, May 21 @6pm. I’ll be there will you?

Continue reading »

 

This made me giggle a lot…




For all of our bi-sexual friends…  get yours!
http://www.sexualityeducation.com/bisexual-id-card.html

 

Here’s a link to an interesting blog post that speaks about the consequences in a very geeky way.

Gay marriage: the database engineering perspective

There are various objections to expanding the conventional, up-tight, as-God-intended “one man, one woman” notion of marriage but by far the least plainly bigoted ones I am aware of are the bureaucratic ones.
To be blunt, the systems aren’t set up to handle it. The paper forms have a space for the husband’s name and a space for the wife’s name. Married people carefully enter their details in block capitals and post the forms off to depressed paper-pushers who then type that information into software front-ends whose forms are laid out and named in precisely the same fashion. And then they hit “submit” and the information is filed away electronically in databases which simply keel over or belch integrity errors when presented with something so profound as a man and another man who love each other enough to want to file joint tax returns.

 

I am SO fucking frustrated.

How is it that I am hear shit from queers about how “they” could vote for a Black man but “black people” didn’t vote for Prop8?

SAY WHAT?!

Like, even if one does the math and assumed that EVERY black person voted (including those who inellgible like children), and EVERY black person voted democrat, it still wouldn’t have been enough votes on their own? JEEEZ people do some math at least.
Continue reading »

 

May I stand beside you and help hold space as an ally?

I asked this of a woman on a forum who was being given a hard, hard time by some of the members.

As a dyke, I found the conversation disturbing and alienating. It reminded me of conversations with white people about race. It didn’t feel safe. If I was a black gay man or a straight man who played with men, and I had any personal agency, I would have been cautious about outing myself on that particular board based on what I’d been reading.

I’ve dated/had in service, men, women, M2Fs and F2Ms. They are people. I’ve been looking for names of the International Master/Slave from – I believe – 2002. Gay man with a Dyke in service. LOVELY people with no question in theor mind or in that of others. And I’m pretty certain that one of the ways she served was to provide oral service… A good friend of mine who identifies as Straight (he really is) had a dyke in service whom he used sexually. She was no less a dyke for serving her master as he wished.

I couldn’t understand why I was seeing a debate rather than an attempt at understanding. If one is a straight identified man who engages in SM with other men or CDs ot TGs… why does anyone else care? Why is anyone else invested in defining your identity? If that same man is playing “”sexually”, with any of those same people, again, I ask… why all the the care and investment?

Who does it threaten? Advantage? Disadvantage? The local of the discussion seems awfully homo/transphobic to me.  Gender, sex, and sexual orientation may overlap… but they don’t have to. Genitals are not the final arbiter and neither is the activity that involves or does not involve them. The locus of identity is not from the point of view of the observer but from the subject!

Oh. And what about women? How come there is no issue there? Huh? ‘Cause it’s sexy? Hawt? What?

Less judgment more questions and listening.

YEESH.

 

The boom, in all its cohorts, hits homes; Whether for gays and lesbians or pub owners, niche markets being planned for those seeking a place to retire
Continue reading »

 

How much fun was THAT!

I’ve never been to Bang 4 the Buck. And being in the presence of over 200 women all lathered up and scantily dressed was certainly this side of heaven.

Saturday’s workshop was illuminating as I have frequently found Midori’s sessions to be. And as always I am struck by the what and the how. Why those archetypes? Why those questions for the mapping? What was excluded? What was considered but deemed non essential?

I always have a sense that the workshops begin at the beginning of the conversation but end part way through. At times moving to other conversations and then circling back again. Sometimes staying there too…

I find it juicy.

 

I was birthed into public BDSM/kink/leather and have grown up in Vancouver. Prior to that I was practicing D/s in private in Alberta without context or community or vernacular. I just made the shit up. When I moved to Vancouver and came out publicly into BDSM, I looked around and described it to myself as percussion-focussed.

I remember my first party though (as opposed to club night). Studio Q. There were a group of women sitting in chairs in the middle of the room upstairs. And one of the women was talking and holding a cigar and she had her feet on the back of a woman who was stretched out on the floor writing in a journal. It looked like HOME and evoked what I had been doing while in Edmonton privately. And I remember thinking something like: “Those are my people. I’m not alone. There are others who do this too.” It has haunted me ever since and never been fully realized. There is a longing. Perhaps for a fantasy…. but I know others in other places who do it…

Continue reading »

 

Whew!

Someone call 911. I got something burning that she could put out (or fan)….

http://www.firejock.com/

A great shot of Juliet and her wife:
http://www.rogueamazon.com/

LAWD.

 

I’d be interested to hear if anyone has feedback on XtraWest’s story that I was interviewed for:

The Outsiders – Feeling invisible and invalidated by Vancouver’s white queer community
Natasha Barsotti / Xtra West – Cover Story / Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Link ~> http://tinyurl.com/2nlb9v

Continue reading »

 

Butch is a NounJust working my way through this book now.

Loving it. Really.

I agree with Carol Queen. It makes me fall in love with butches all over again.

Check out a reading by the author:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qv89wbZHzNQ

 

Recently I’ve been part of online discussions about what happens when the conect of women’s only space gets moved online.

What happens when a group of “women” begin to speak about how transitional persons touch their lives? I’ll tell ya…. all hell breaks loose. People step forward who are moving along the spectrum or who are engaged on some level with those persons to declare hurt feelings and a sense of exclusion or silence. Temperatures rise and the word Transphobia gets batted about.

And this SUCKS as far as I’m concerned.
Continue reading »

 

In related news:

~~~~~~~~~~~

Farewell Reception for Donna Wilson

You may have heard that after 12 years, Donna Wilson, The Centre’s Executive Director is leaving to pursue new adventures.

Please join board members, staff, volunteers, colleagues and friends as we come together to celebrate Donna’s many wonderful contributions in developing a solid LGTB Community Centre.

All welcome!

Scotia Dance Centre, Top Floor
677 Davie Street (between Granville and Seymour)
Thursday, June 21
5:00 p.m. to 7:30 p.m.

Light refreshments – RSVP s not required

 

Australian pub bars heterosexuals

A gay pub in the Australian city of Melbourne wins the right to ban heterosexuals.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/em/fr/-/2/hi/asia-pacific/6697469.stm

Huh. Includes women too. Austrailia has some pretty decent human rights law. Interesting to see this at play. Very interesting.

 

The Centre’s AGM and Feasibility Study Open House?

Notice of the 2007 Annual General Meeting of the Pacific Foundation for the Advancement of Minority Equality*

Members of PFAME please take notice of the forthcoming AGM:

Date: Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Time: 7:00 p.m.
Place: St. John?s United Church,
1401 Comox Street (at Broughton), Vancouver, BC

Included in the agenda is the election of members to the Board of Directors. Individuals who have been members for 30 days are entitled to run for a director?s position. If you are interested in running, you are strongly encouraged to contact the Board of Directors to learn about the commitment associated with being a director. Our email address is board@supportthecentre.com and a contact phone number is 778-883-6000.

All members of the public are also invited to attend an Open House at 1401 Comox to help us refine The Centre’s vision for its future. Before beginning a design process, The Centre needs to identify its space needs. We invite you to the open house that will show a series of possible strategic directions for The Centre. The Open House begins at 5:00 p.m. and runs until 9:00 p.m.

* Pacific Foundation for the Advancement of Minority Equality (PFAME) is the society name for The Centre, A Community Centre Serving and Supporting Lesbian, Gay, Transgender, Bisexual People and Their Allies.

 

So I was having a conversation with a dear friend of mine last night about personal and community responsibility and how that ties into ones integrity.

The question at hand had to do with bad dates of the moment; individuals who have patterns of behaviour which might lead to a bad date; and individuals who behave in ways which are intermittent/ongoing verbal, physical and/or sexually abusive.

D/s and it’s water muddying complications were NOT part of the context.

Being inclined to separate people from their behaviour, I to look at the bad date and say: is this behaviour about who they are as a person, or is this about outside influences (drugs, PMS, stress, etc.)

If it is about a person’s essential nature, I’m inclined to say “good riddance to bad rubbish” both personally and for the health and safety of my community. And watch me run my mouth at will!

If it is about outside influences, I’m inclined to say: “I’m withholding contact, here are your boundaries, and don’t expect a favourable reference from me.”

The issue at hand was this second scenario. What is the obligation on behalf of the individual and to others in our community? We debated when, whether, under what circumstances, and how one should act – both from self protection and community protection stances.

Moving on from that, a person who finds themselves on the side of being the “bad date” how does that person recover with both the individual and in the face of the community? Is there a way to restore one’s honour?

As a member of the community, what does one do with bad date info? How does one determine truthfulness and how does one respond? What about continued transmission of the information?

What part do references play (providing, withholding, checking, etc)?

 

yeah…

I was thinking about what I wrote.

If there is an evolution or a movement that is empowering or about discovery… it’s really not for me as an affected person to stand in the way. That is not my intent. It’s really not so much that I am invested in a buth/femme state. It’s more like struggling to understand what is happening and what that means to me.

I wish that there were more masculinized voices participating Aaron and I’m glad you are stepping into the fray. It’s intensely personal and I appreciate that. I don’t know about the communities where butches feel love. I’d like to hear more about that.

My experience with transgendered people is that regardless of the impulse that pushes them in that direction, no amount of outside “love” can alter the course once it is set – that has to come from inside.

© 2012 NubianImp Projects Suffusion theme by Sayontan Sinha

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