Lady Kona

Sorry Manners: Civility and Incivility in the Scene – Part II

Culture & Community, Writings on Race No Responses »

Mar 132009

by Chris M (Black Rose) and Lady Medora (NOPE)

In fairness, we don’t want to suggest that leatherfolk are inherently rude people. The scene, as wonderful as it can be, contains many subtle and seldom discussed “stress factors” that contribute to uncivil behavior. Like water over a stone, these stress factors wear on the nerves year after year, thus setting the stage for impatience, irritation, depression, and the empathy deficit we have already discussed. These are the rudeness-producing rudeness that prompts retaliatory rudeness in return.

Leather Ethics: Civility and Incivility in the Scene

Culture & Community, Writings on Race No Responses »

Mar 132009

Do you remember when you first saw this piece? It came to me in email what seems like loooong ago. I’ve thought about this because of experiences I had at conferences I’ve been travelling to over the past year and a half. I’ve looked for a way to get permission to re-print this. I’m not convinced that it is complete. But I don’t want to loose it because I think it has some important things to say.

I try to remember that the norms of civility differ from culture to culture, continent to continent, country to country, region to region, city to city, neighbourhood to neighbourhood, and social setting to social setting. It’s hard sometimes.

But i try to keep in mind that it is not my place to impede the journey of another physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually. I’m not always successful.

I am relentlessly, pathetically, gloriously, beautifully, tragically, gracefully…. human. And I strive to do the best I can each day, which sometimes ain’t a lot depending on the ruler, to be the best person I can. To be a better person as time goes by is something to strive towards.

Words like these are totally additive to that pursuit.

Thinking about consensual adult Age Play

Our Thoughts > D/s & M/s No Responses »

Mar 122009

It has been only in the last four years or so that my notions of this type of play expanded beyond “adult baby” play (diapers, nursing, etc) and I always thought that sex was involved somehow. (Strange since my personal kinks don’t follow that kind of template.)

Personally, I have never thought of myself as doing “Little” play. Yes, I call myself “Mama”. And there are otheres who do the same. And yes I fulfill what I call an “Uber-Adult” role for many folks – strangers, aquaintences, colleagues, friends, lovers, family… I have also tended to regard myself as a Tormentrix(c) and I call myself a Nubian Imp(c). The “Little” aspect of this manifests itself as the bad babysitter or wicked big sister at times. “C” and I refer to these times as me having my “Imp Boots” on. Those who know me know what that is like! I can hear Uneek now, “Mama…. doooooon’t!” as I proceed to tease her by poking her bum or twirling her tresses in my fingers. Heheheheh…. I believe that too many adults have forgotten how to PLAY. How to access innocence and creativity. We could all do more of that!

Online Flame Warriors

Off Topic - Live With It! No Responses »

Mar 102009

I found this link and LAUGHED!

I haven’t been all the way through yet but I recognized myself in some of these net archetypes and will probably find the the perfect fit by the time I’m through. I’ll post my self-reflective dirty laundry when I do…

Flame Warriors
http://redwing.hutman.net/~mreed/index.htm

Do you see yourself?

Snapshot of the week ending : 2009-03-09

NubianImp Projects, Reflections & Ruminations No Responses »

Mar 092009

The week began with closing out the South Plains Master Slave conference. Glad I went. I got stories but most of them are around the culture of the place.

Have to say that I expected a higher level of… well… manners. Protocol. Something.There were incidents that distressed me. And I’d like to talk/write about them, but you know what? I’m a coward. I’m not into public disclosures that will breed or heighten dissension. Not in the way that my thoughts on what I experienced could. So don’t bother asking unless yer one of those people who have darkened the door of my apartment.

The week was full of work related to Mayhem. It’s gonna be good. If I survive the work it takes to pull it off. If you’re a past, present or future woman, I hope that you’ll join us in Vancouver for the first conference of its kind in Western Canada since 1993.

Work was productive and not. I love lead projects. I love being underestimated and giving people pause.

The monthly Top Shelf meeting happened again this week and it just left me feeling hungry. But I did manage to begin the organizing of the next D/s Dinner/salon and my Fourth Annual Sexy Sauna Birthday Bathhouse for Women.

Oh, and the boi sold her house. Which means she’ll be here soon. YES.

Visual Hawtness

Canadian Mayhem, Education No Responses »

Mar 072009

Loving Mayhemeven as I spin into madness with all the meetings and organizing. Did you know Mayhem has a FetLife group?

This is a thing of beauty that has come out of all of this.Â Elaine Miller does hot graphics work. The ass my latex gloved hand is on? A thing of hotness. I was SO undisciplined during this shoot. It’s true.

Artistic credits to Vancouver photographer S.D. Holman who also did the naked ass picks of me for the Dead Zone weekend and of me in just a towel for my Sexy Sauna B-day Bath House last year.

BTW… The date for the next D/s Dinner/salon has been set for later this month and the invites/formal announcement will be going out soon.

And speaking of getting sweaty with naked women, the fourth annual Sexy Sauna B-Day Bath House will be happening April long weekend! This year, in addition to myself and Elaine Miller the celebration will probably mark the “seasoning” of two other local fabulous femmes.

Ah life… ’tis good, good, good…

Info Out: The history of BDSM

Education, Our Actions > BDSM 1 Response »

Mar 052009

REALLY looking forward to going to this with an elder kinkster friend of mine. The Art of Loving, a retailer of adult products here in Vancouver, presents the History of Consensual Sadomasochism, a presentation by Peter Tupper.

History like you never learned it in school! From the marriage rites of ancient Rome to the worldwide fetish subculture, the history of BDSM is full of fascinating characters and unexpected connections. Learn about the men who gave their names to sadism and masochism and the maid who proudly called herself a collared slave.

Peter Tupper is a writer and journalist, who has been involved in the Vancouver BDSM scene for twelve years and who blogs over at Beauty in Darkness. He also serves as the vice-president of Metro Vancouver Kink.

Tuesday, March 10th, 7:30pm-9:30pm
Admission is $15.
Location: The Art of Loving, 1819 W.5th Avenue and Burrard, Vancouver, B
Pre-registration is a MUST. Email info@theartofloving.ca or phone 604-742-9988

Fore those in Seattle you can also check out what he’s doing:

Saturday, March 14th, 4pm-6pm
Admission is $20.
Center for Sex Positive Culture, 1602 – 15th Avenue West, Seattle, WA
Pre-registration is a MUST. See www.sexpositiveculture.org or call 206-270-9746

Why I love My Country – #1 : CBC

Arts & Culture, Off Topic - Live With It!, Self-Indulgent No Responses »

Mar 032009

Here we have CBC. A national broadcaster that really feels like the heart of Canada to me. Maybe not the whole heart, but certainly a chamber.

One of the programs run on CBC Radio One on Saturday mornings is North by Northwest which has resurected a segment called Lost Childhood Books. It’s hosted by Sheryl Mackay. They have a team of librarians who will, with an adequate description, track down a lost literary friend.

For years I have been trying to discover the book that was read to by the teacher to our fourth grade class.Â I’m almost 40 now and the book has always stayed with me. Guess what? They found it.

Snapshot of the week ending : 2009-03-02

Canadian Mayhem, Education, Reflections & Ruminations No Responses »

Mar 022009

What a week. All about prepping and going to to South Plains LeatherFest and International Master/slave weekend.

And lots of working on Mayhem. And planning MORE things like the next D/s Dinner/salon and my fourth annual Sexy Sauna B-Day Bathouse party. I seem to just keep adding things to the schedule.

The more I travel the more I am drawn to travel. the more I want to head out into the world of Leather and learn and fellowship. I am blessed.

Office lights affect Antarctic penguins

Off Topic - Live With It! No Responses »

Mar 022009

A colleague of mine who recently took a leave to do a two week tour of the Antarctic with a research team sent the following which surprised me:

What do office lights and penguins have in common? Lots–Adelie penguins are nesting in a new climate condition that is causing more snow to fall in Antarctica. This snow is piling up around them as they sit on their eggs — to the point that they and their chicks can not get out and are dying in these garbage can sized snow holes.

Please folks, when you leave your office (if you have this ability; not all offices do) turn out your lights. And if you are the last person in the office, please remember to turn off the main lights. It seems so little, but it really does make a differenceâ€¦ if we were all a bit more vigilantâ€¦

The penguins thank you!

One more point of unexpected connection…

Snapshot of the week ending : 2009-02-23

Reflections & Ruminations No Responses »

Feb 232009

Sometimes when I review what I’ve twittered for the week I’m surprised at the range. In some ways not wide enough. I fear become to narrow in my focus and not having enough breadth to be able to think critically. Having too few reference points to be of interest to myself. Never mind the rest of the world that I inflict my thinking on…

Track your sex life

Sex & Gender No Responses »

Feb 192009

I remember being a young teen and being this rebellious sort. If I was raising a child like me i would lock me under the stairs and feed me bread and water. Really.

So I had this pocket calendar where I woud notate all the things I had done that would make my parents cringe. Had this code all set out so that I could get as much info as possible into the tiny date square. I recorded the booze I drank. The drugs I took (and kind). Parties. Sex. Oh… the sex…

See, I lived at one parent’s house but would spend time at the other from time to time. Same city. So I went to live with one and left a bunch of my stuff at the other. When I went back… my room had been “cleaned”.

If I had access to somehting like this I never woudl have been caught. I didn’t ask about where the calendar went, and they never talked about it.

BlackBeat 2009 Essay Contest & Scholarship

Education No Responses »

Feb 182009

Essay Contest & Scholarship

Never attended a Black BEAT Conference?

Playful Fashions, proudly announces it’s second Essay Contest Scholarship for one creative person to attend Black BEAT 09! The winner will receive a general registration scholarship/package ( $150 value) to attend Black BEAT 09′s Caribbean Theme Conference, August 13-16 in Maryland.

The essay contest ends March 1st.

Hurry, there’s just a few weeks left to enter the Playful Fashions Essay Contest.

www.BlackBEATInc.org
Continue reading »

Notes: From Top Shelf

Education, Our Thoughts > D/s & M/s No Responses »

Feb 182009

SoÂ I go to this thing which is a monthly conversation among Dominants. Frankly, it’s among males Dominants and me. Very interesting. MEN. **sigh**

It’s good because the perspective is different and as a whole this group of people has thought about things differently than I have.Â I think I have more reference points. What it does is force me to be more articulate and to be more clear. Which is always a JOY.

I certainly don’t agree with all I hear, but I do scribble away at things thatÂ I want to think more about. Sometimes they come from other people, sometimes they are thoughts of my own that come out of what is being discussed.

Things from my notes to think about behind the cut:

Snapshot of the week ending : 2009-02-16

Reflections & Ruminations No Responses »

Feb 162009

Yeah… My first entry of the week was directed at someone specific. GAWD. I’m harmless except for when I’m not…

So Monday I’m doing my regular Monday Night Martinis with DC and KC. We rotate who cooks, drink all kinds of booze, watch Heroes on TV (my lust has changed characters this year. Can you guess who?), and uphold the “sex talk every 7 minutes minimum” in a family dome of silence.

This particular night was RC’s b-day and he was cooking (nice guy) and EM was over eating with us.Â I was in A LOT of discomfort. I thought I’d been constipated for over a week. Except that I was shitting reguarily. By the end of the night I was on the floor writhing in pain. EM and DC took me to emergency. Apparently I has ovarian cysts. Two days later they determined that they didn’t need to do emergency surgery and I was sent home with an appointment with my surgeon from the fall and instructions to PRN my leftover meds from my surgery last year. BLEAH.

Got on a plane Thursday and headed to Edmonton for Lupercalia. It was AWESOME. Not the conference… my sessions facilitated by Master Skip and slave Rick. Major break through around M/s for me.

Anyways… details of my adventure twittered for your voyeuristic pleasure. I’ll blog my session experiences (maybe) another time.

Snapshot of the week ending : 2009-02-09

Reflections & Ruminations No Responses »

Feb 092009

What a week! Lots of bits and pieces on the agenda. Next week I head to Lupercalia in Edmonton, Alberta. My focus will be on my charge Bootblack Jac (also presenting Boot Blacking: Service or Seduction? at Canadian Mayhem) and on four seminars facilitated by Master Skip Chasey and Slave Rick: The Mana of Fetish, When the Going gets Tough (parts 1& 2) and The Servant Master: From Control to Compassion.

Anyways… twittery details for the week behind the cut…

Kink-e-Zine : Black History Month Edition

Arts & Culture, Culture & Community, Writings on Race No Responses »

Feb 082009

Februaryâ€™s issue of Kink-e-Zine, honouring Black History Month, has just launched, & it has shaped up to be one of the biggest issues yet! For some of us, itâ€™s a beautiful tribute, & for other itâ€™s a valuable education—regardless, they are proud to present it to you.

Features on the inside:

Info Out: Leather Leadership Conference Scholarships

Education 1 Response »

Feb 032009

LLC XIII – 2009 Scholarships now available!

The board of the Leather Leadership Conference, Inc. is pleased to announce that it is offering 15 full scholarships to cover the cost of registration to the up-coming LLC-XIII in Atlanta, the weekend of April 3-5, 2009. Applications are accepted until February 24. Those awarded will be notified by March 4.

Confidential requests for scholarships may be made to scholarships@leatherleadership.org. If you have already registered for the conference, you can be reimbursed for your registration fee.

Now, having said all that, I just want to say that this is an event that I have been DYING to attend to YEARS. I’m going to apply. But it only covers registration. I’m gonna need help with transportation and accommodation too… Back to the public advisory

Humour: Jizz in My Pants

Arts & Culture, Off Topic - Live With It! No Responses »

Feb 032009

I was introduced to this video during the winter holidays of 2008. Yep just over a month ago.

I was at a holiday house party for a group of kinksters in Edmonton Alberta. Many of them belong to COPE, the local group running a public dungeon party on a monthly basis. Many of them are participants in the organization or presentation of Lupercalia, the largest hotel-based BDSM conference in Western Canada. Then there were folks like me who came as guests of those who were friends of the hosts.

A pansexual group of people. A couple of queers but mostly Hetero-Male Top kind of crowd. The male host, W——, has this HUGE TV which is connected to his laptop. And on that laptop is a stunning variety of media.

Apologies were made as this was loaded to play on the screen. IÂ fucking LAUGHED my ass off. Now I give you:

Jizz in My Pants by Lonely Island

Older Entries Newer Entries

NubianImp Projects

Lady Kona

Leather Ethics: Civility and Incivility in the Scene

Thinking about consensual adult Age Play

Online Flame Warriors

Snapshot of the week ending : 2009-03-09

Visual Hawtness

Info Out: The history of BDSM

Why I love My Country – #1 : CBC

Snapshot of the week ending : 2009-03-02

Office lights affect Antarctic penguins

Snapshot of the week ending : 2009-02-23

Track your sex life

BlackBeat 2009 Essay Contest & Scholarship

Notes: From Top Shelf

Snapshot of the week ending : 2009-02-16

Snapshot of the week ending : 2009-02-09

Kink-e-Zine : Black History Month Edition

Info Out: Leather Leadership Conference Scholarships

Humour: Jizz in My Pants

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