Lady Kona

A Day Without Art & Culture?

Arts & Culture No Responses »
Sep 092009
grey

A day without art is grey indeed.

.

Arts Strike – Silent Grey Rally
Wednesday, September 9 at 11:30am

Look.

The times are tough. When one looks across the globe there is evidence of the hardship that greed and bad judgment has produced.

The people that suffer are the people that ultimately are paying the bill. What does that bill look like? the Billion Dollar Gram gives us an idea.

In BC, the government and it’s partners are showing a brave face and making good on a promise to the world. The people paying the price tag of that promise are truly, paying the price. Libraries and schools and daycares, and seniors’ programs are at risk and others are in their death throes. Our art and culture are under attack.

People are protesting:

People are talking:

Art is one facet of what makes life worth living for me. As a queer, black, woman, it is important to me that that stories be told and that representations are made available for those in the now and those in the future. These cuts have the ability to affect things that are important to me:

Art is worth fighting for – not instead of, but in addition to youth programs and health care and education. Like the fight at the municipal level that often comes down to pipes, police and streets, it is often forgotten that what a society leaves behind INCLUDES culture. It INCLUDES art. It is part of what makes up legacy and what helps solidify memory.

Whether it is called (or considered) high art or folk art or pop culture or global culture, it ONE of the things that allows us to reflect on where we’ve been where we are and to consider where we might be going.

Look around you. What you see are the evidence and artifacts of art and culture. Aspects of our humanity that are one of many facets that INCLUDES all the sectors that the BC Government has in it’s sights. Now is NOT the time to pit one sector against another or measure for scintillas of value. We must all hold hands and work to move forward. I

If, as the government says, the cupboard is bare and hanging on a wall of deficit… then what are WE going to do about it? Me? I’m advocating for the arts. That’s my part.

How about you – what are you doing? What art would you miss in your world?

Posted by Lady Kona at 9:00 am

Nggrfg - A Fringe Festival event

Arts & Culture 1 Response »
Sep 092009

nggrfg2NYou read that one right.

Take one Small Brown Package born on the Canadian Prairies ensure equal parts of black and gay, mix with epithets and whole lot of talent and you get Barend Mackenzie.

Xtra West recently did a wonderful article on him and the show. Having Natasha Barsotti on staff is ensuring that the queer content of the paper has more colour that it has had in many a year before she joined the staff.

Once a month Xtra West hosts a Cultural Series at Cafe Deux Soleils on Commercial Drive. It was there that I saw a 15 minute excerpt of this show. What a power house actor. What a compelling story.

“Four revealing and hilarious vignettes tell the story of a queer black kid finding his way through the minefield of straight white Canada.”

Black, queer and prairie born. I can’t wait to see the whole thing.

Care to join me?

Nggrfg
Vancouver Fringe International Festival
Waterfront Theatre September 9 – 20, 2009

Posted by Lady Kona at 12:43 am

Snapshot of the week ending : 2009-09-07

Reflections & Ruminations No Responses »
Sep 072009

Diary_scraps_sxc_740285What a week!

Less than a month to go for Lee Harrington’s D/s Psychology Intensive and there are just  few weekend seats left. YAY!

The 5th D/s Dinner Salon has been boked for the weekend of the 12th. Less than a week a way. Historically the seats are gone within 24 – 48 hours. This installment will be an Afternoon Tea – cucumber sandwiches with the crusts cut off and all! I’m so grateful to the hosts for opening their home. They are two of the loveliest people I’ve met in Vancouver’s M/s community.

On a much different note, the cuts to the non-profit sector in BC are more like gouges. And as a cultural worker and artist I’m appalled. It’s short-sighted and I’m waiting for the public pressure to begin dividing and conquering us all. Continue reading »

Posted by Lady Kona at 11:59 pm Tagged with: , ,

Exposing Fictionalized Private Lives

Reflections & Ruminations No Responses »
Sep 022009
First in a planned series of writings inspired by TED : more info :

Do you think about the lives of our kink/fetish heroes? The more you see, and have access to in terms of images, and video and conferences and blogs and LiveJournal, and Twitter and Facebook and FetLife for those with a *name*…. does it ignite in you the desire for even more? In the worlds of mainstream entertainment, sports and politics the media seems to be feeding a gluttonous appetite. How does this play out in the world of leather/kink/fetish? What do we actually “know” about the Perverati (celebrity perverts)? What does a peek inside their lives actually look like?

Alison Jackson is a photographic artist that uses celebrity look alikes to fabricate glimpses into the fictionalized lives of public personages. Alison Jackson Look(ed) at Celebrity in July 2005 at TEDOxford in England. In her words, the images “titillate” our imaginations. They provide fuel for scandalous contemplation of what lies behind the constructed images of people we *think* we know because of the amount of information we *think* we have about them through the media. She got me thinking about explicitness of photographic images common to our landscape.

There are so many mainstream popular persons that find themselves in what are called compromising positions. Careers can be lost over their activities. To many of us those activities are things that comprise the substance of the lives of the people whose books and videos we purchase. We read the content of their social media lifestream. We listen to their words at conferences, and strive to learn from or emulate their fashion and play styles.

Continue reading »

Posted by Lady Kona at 11:17 am Tagged with:

Snapshot of the week ending : 2009-08-31

Reflections & Ruminations No Responses »
Aug 312009

Diary_scraps_sxc_740285Mama has been busy on the social media networks this week!

The state of the Arts continues to be on my mind and apparently thoughts around D/s and that sweet butch of mine. Increasingly I am finding interesting people and posts on Twitter. The problem is that there is SO much. OH to find more leather, fetish, kink folk. Why do smart people tweet their dinner details anyways? YEESH.

I auditioned for a TV Series (don’t ask I find it annoying), had the police visit my office with a subpoena, hooked up some moving love for my ex and went to see District 9 (if you haven’t seen it, please do. I’m dying to talk more about it).

One of the most exciting things for me was attending the organizing meeting for TEDxVancouver. But can I just say: NOT MY PEOPLE. But I’ve had time to think about it and I think it’s because I’m so accustomed to working on collaborative efforts within the Dyke scene and to community consultation through my job and in the Arts scene. While I work out what kind of energy I want to expend in that direction, I’ve decided to do a series of pieces combining the smarts of TED with passions I’m exploring. Look for the first one on Wednesday.

Posted by Lady Kona at 11:59 pm Tagged with: , ,

Learning Successful D/s

Education, Our Thoughts > D/s & M/s No Responses »
Aug 312009

Those of us consciously walking a path of intentional and consistent D/s have come across times when we wonder about our personal capacities and those of the people with whom we have association. We seek inside ourselves, we go to conferences, read books, mentor, attend workshops, munches, review Leather history, research online and participate in social media networks. Those of us who are serious *work* hard. Personally, I think of it as a craft.

In the past I have asked: what does it take to do D/s successfully? How does one find and adopt best practices?

outliers_coverCurrently I ‘m reading Malcom Gladwell’s Outliers. It’s a  fascinating read that refuses to acknowledge the rags to riches myth of success in favour of exploring their environment. Like The Tipping Point and Blink, his previous two books, he draws interesting conclusions from the connection of seemingly disparate points. I read and experience moments of AHA! whether I agree with him or not. The journey he plots is well worth walking.

Outliers has a section that talks about the energy and effort it takes to be a success given that one has *enough* talent, skill and ability – not excessive mind you, but enough – to pursue one’s passion.

In example after example he comes to a conclusion that asks: is 10,000 hours the magic number?

For those that engage in 24/7 power exchange dynamics 10,000 hours works out to  417 days. But between work and sleep and having time for family, friends and other pursuits there aren’t many who can squeeze in 5 hours a day. At that rate, the magic number takes 286 weeks or 5.5 YEARS. Think about that for a few moments. How many people do you know who can claim that kind of devotion (or fortune!).

The Geisha, understand, learn until the day they die. They take lessons constantly to gain new skills, and to maintain or enhance old ones. What do you do? How many hours have you devoted to the dynamic you have or the one you want?

This fall I’ve got a few things on my agenda:

There will be another D/s Dinner/salon in September and of course the Lee Harrington D/s Psychology Intensive (for which there are still seats).

Then I’m travelling to Wicked Womyn October 23-25. There are some good presenters and promising sessions. For example: Rope Wolfe’s Mind Fucks/Mental Games; River’s Edge of Madness, Fear and Terror Play; and Master DJ & September Dragon’s conversation about Diversity in the Master/slave Lifestyle and how gender plays a role in a variety of relationships.

My latest temptation is to attend the D/s Protocol Weekend with Laura Antoniou and Midori in Toronto November 20 – 21. It’s being billed as a weekend intensive for conscious D/s & protocol. At $450 per person, it’s a steep investment. They’ve designed for people who enjoy authentic power dynamics and D/s, who want to consciously create quality relationships that suit their personal hungers and needs in the context of the real world. Through the unique curriculum and its innovative tools, each individual or relationship unit will create their own customized manual of effective protocol, rules, etiquettes and codes of conducts.

Posted by Lady Kona at 9:38 am

Snapshot of the week ending : 2009-08-24

Reflections & Ruminations No Responses »
Aug 242009

What a week.

After waiting and waiting the arts and culture community of BC has finally received the news everyone dreaded to hear. The cuts are coming, and the cuts are BIG. Here we are less than six months to the Olympics and the cultural fabric of the province is being shredded. Over the the next several weeks we’ll be hearing what organizations and events might survive. Which puts into question VANOC’s Cultural Olympiad. What will it look like if the organizations making up its programming go out of business?

Out On Screen, which was a WHOLE lot of fun as the finale to a month of queerness. I saw some good and some ugly. A lasting legacy of that event for me is the number of people asking me about the spit trail. Really people, I was talking about Star Trek Deep Space Nine! I didn’t realize any of it would end up being part of the trailer!

Posted by Lady Kona at 11:59 pm Tagged with: , ,

Snapshot of the week ending : 2009-08-17

Reflections & Ruminations No Responses »
Aug 172009

    The Lee Harrington workshop is going well. Registrations are coming in and I think it is going to be a REALLY outstanding group of people who show up. There are still seats available. I’m hoping the all get snapped up by as many people from my home town as possible. It will make for a nicely

    As one can see from the updates below, what’s is on my mind most these days is the state of the arts here in BC. The government is holding back on gaming funds and non-profits from every sector are waiting to see how bad the damage is going to be. It’s not pretty. I’ve been enjoying being an artistic queer this past month and I see all of that as being in jeopardy.

    Posted by Lady Kona at 11:59 pm Tagged with: , ,

    D/s Psychology Intensive with Lee Harrington

    Educators No Responses »
    Aug 102009

    Doing relationships with intentional power dynamics
    October 2, 3, 4 in Vancouver BC Canada

    Still moving the furniture are and am considering paint colours over here in my corner of the WWW. In the meantime, I’m doing this really cool thing with Elaine Miller. I’m bringing Lee Harrington into town (Vancouver, BC, Canada) October 2, 3, 4 for a D/s Psychology Intensive. If this is of interest to you, check out all the details via the projects page.
    Posted by Lady Kona at 8:32 am Tagged with: ,

    Snapshot of the week ending : 2009-08-09

    Reflections & Ruminations No Responses »
    Aug 092009

    As I get older I see beauty in unexpected places. And the beauty I was already aware of takes on a different significance.

    The meaning of time has shifted. And with it my perspective. This comes as a shock to me. What I know. What I think I know. Where I’ve come from and where I’ve been.

    Now I realize that ALL of that sounds like SO much tripe and obvious wanking. Of course it does. But there is a resonance now that wasn’t present previously. Just as I am beginning to grasp the flow of time I realize that I haven’t much left. Call it 40 years.

    The link to the Feral Houses shows what nature can do to the dreams we build over time. Reflections on passion muse on the lingering effects over time. My life (and maybe yours) online is time worth reconsidering. Time in the theatre reminds me that art has the ability to supersede linear time. And finally, the passage of time reveals things lost and now yearned for without knowledge of how time allowed us to loose track.

    The Byrds were right:

    To everything – turn, turn, turn
    There is a season – turn, turn, turn
    And a time for every purpose under heaven
    …

    Continue reading »

    Posted by Lady Kona at 11:59 pm Tagged with: , ,

    Snapshot of the week ending : 2009-08-03

    Reflections & Ruminations No Responses »
    Aug 032009

    SO EXCITED!

    The news for this week is that I’ve engaged Lee Harrington to come to Vancouver for a 3-day D/s Intensive. Happening October 2, 3, 4, it is going to be QUITE the fabulous thing. I’m prepared to loose my shirt on it because it would cost me about as much to fly to another city, stay in a hotel, and eat constipating food. So I figured, “why not bring the conference to me and share the person who is coming with whomever wants to join me? Details to come my lovelies. Watch this site, or my Twitterfeed, or catch me on Facebook.

    This, of course, has been thrown off it’s launch and marketing by PRIDE in Vancouver. It’s like all of August is one big scheduling puzzle wherein I try to figure out how to be as Gay as possible while wringing the very last drops out of the summer weather before it starts to cool down. For me, below 23 degrees starts to feel cool. See my problem?

    Speaking (writing?) of heat, the other thing dominating the past week has been the heat. I love it. Don’t get me wrong. But LAWD. It’s the humidity, ultimately, that makes me stoopid and irritable beyond anything. What always fascinates me is how one can see the foibles in others at a time like that but not in ones self. I always end up kicking myself for not being a better person.

    I also decided this past week that I really need to do more to engage the artist in me. It’s SCREAMING like a sadist without a victim to get out and have some fun. It’s the auditioning I’ve been doing. Some really good roles that made me happy to perform in the room. Did work come of it? No. But it’s a long journey back from being so sick the past couple of years. so expect more arts and culture coverage. Or not. I’m fickle.

    Continue reading »

    Posted by Lady Kona at 11:59 pm Tagged with: , , ,

    I’m Too Busy Being Gay

    Arts & Culture, Canadian Mayhem, Culture & Community, Dykes, Sapphists & Other Cousins No Responses »
    Jul 302009

    Looking around I said to myself the other day:

    Dear Laundry:

    You know I love your freshness when you are done, and the clean variety you offer. Without a question the site of you piled in a corner awaiting my attentions plagues my mind every time I search for something to wear. As the stock of dozens of red panties dwindles, and I am forced to wear my “good” bras to work, make no mistake: I know I am doing you wrong. I am troubled.

    It’s not you. It’s me. I’ve been seduced by Pride.

    Late July and through August in Vancouver is a massive all out celebration of Gay Pride. And I love to drink from every cup that organizations around my city are pouring. My favourites:

    Bride of Pride:
    Big surprise Right? Not only am I a LeatherDyke but I’m one of the organizers of Canadian Mayhem who put on Vancouver’s annual Women’s Play Party for past present and future women. So much of pride in Vancouver has historically, during my residence here been focused on men. And anything sexual… was focused on men. BoP (as the party is known for short) brings together over 100 hot, sexy, passionate women for a weekend launch that KICKS ASS! Tickets in advance and available at the door.

    The Dyke March:
    I live ½ a block off Commercial Drive. If I’m late getting out onto the streets, from my window I can see the hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of dykes, queers, lesbians, dogs, children, bikes, parasols, Birkenstocks, hoola hoops, etc, etc taking over the neighbourhood. We meet at McSpadden Park and wind our way to Grandview Park where we sit on the grass and take in the entertainment. It’s a good thing. This year I’m marching with the Canadian Mayhem banner.YAY!

    Pride in Art:
    Over a week jammed with arts and culture originating from the queer community. While there is an abundance of local talent/excellence, there is often a national or international flavour added to the mix. Highlights for me are the Visual Art Exhibition at the Roundhouse; the opening ceremonies; Queerotica – which invites queers to read their own works or the works of others; and the Cabaret. This year I plan to jam in the agenda: the Screaming Weenies event Clean Sheets; SWELL – a performance featuring Anna Camilleri and Ivan Coyote; Transgressions – featuring Vancouver’s favourite concert pianist Rachel Kiyo Iwaasa and the AMAZING Cris Derksen; and… even more stuff. Really.

    Vancouver Pride Parade:
    The day after the Dyke March the WHOLE community takes to the streets. Is it San Francisco? Or Toronto? Or New York? No. But it’s here in my home town and is a key anchor to the month that makes me so tired. This year Canadian Mayhem will be taking it to he streets and sharing space with Metro Vancouver Kink (MVK) the monthly play party of choice for Vancouver’s dykes. They’re a pansexual group, but most of the dungeon monitors are dykes – and you know how we like to do it!

    Out on Screen Queer Film and Video Festival:
    How could one not love sitting in the dark looking at stories about who we are? Huh? This combined with it being the best place to cruise, flirt and score a date that does not involve loud music and a dance floor in Vancouver. I try to hit the opening gala and closing party because it’s full of Vancouver’s who is who of the queer scene, has great food, and the films are always great. I do the Coast is Queer series because I often know the participants in the films being shown. I do the Porn Night because I’m a big ‘ole perve with a raging libido. I do any film involving black people and consider twice any film focused on women or gender queers. Films often sell out. Use the online planner available at their site and get your tickets early.

    Posted by Lady Kona at 5:39 pm Tagged with: , , , ,

    Snapshot of the week ending : 2009-07-27

    Reflections & Ruminations 1 Response »
    Jul 272009

    So much I could say about the week that has gone by… Really. And then I look at my tweets for a week. What caught my eye, what I had time to toss out to the world. And I think to myself… My mind is actually a lot like my desk. Which is to say over flowing onto the floor with all kinds of disparate bits and pieces.

    D/s (a favorite topic of mine), technology, queerness, human rights, event promotion, advocacy, and whimsy. Thanks twitter. Now the rest of the world gets a taste of the buffet in my brain.

    Continue reading »

    Posted by Lady Kona at 11:59 pm Tagged with: , ,

    Vancouver's Bathhouse Night for Women

    Sex & Gender, Sexy Sauna & Bathhouse 2 Responses »
    Jul 232009

    Being a sex-positive dyke, I’ve moved in a lot of spaces, queer and str8 where Eros abounds. But as a woman, the opportunity to to do what the boys do isn’t really available. So I made something happen in my city. And in two other cities in Canada, other women made something happen too.

    July/August 2009 Issue. Click for PDF download.

    July/August 2009 Issue. Click for PDF download.

    Andrea Zanin, who writes the blog SexGeek.com wrote a solid piece about women’s bathhouses across my nation in the July/August issue [PDF] for Outlooks Magazine. On pages 10 & 11 are the results of her interviews with myself, Carlyle Jansen of the Pussy Palace in Toronto, and Maggie Haywood of SheDogs in Halifax. Reading it I thought to myself, “are there really only three across the whole country?

    Bathhouses.

    They are a legendary part of gay male history and hold a solid place alongside cruising in parks and public restrooms.

    A dear friend of mine from my home town refers to them as “Windowless Hiltons”. When he travels he opts for spending the night in one of the many choices that any major city offers. He does it because there are clean towels, and showers, and often an entertainment room with porn on a TV. He chooses the ones with saunas and rooms with doors that lock. He finds them cheap compared to getting a paid tourist bed, and although there is no room service, they are open all night long. Depending on the date and time some even offer discounts.

    Did I mention the cruising and the sex? No. But I don’t have to ’cause we all know what’s going on.

    Women, on the other hand, don’t have the same kind of thing available to them. Unable to keep a bar going in most (not all) North American cities without support from the str8 crowd or borrowing a night within a gay bar, we smolder with sensuality without the regular opportunity to gather in groups.

    But when we get the chance… there is a lot more than just flirting and sex going on. People come together to share space in a way that is impossible in dungeons and dance halls and clubs. One isn’t top or bottom in a space like that. The distinctions between butch and femme break down too. We meet in a way that is SO outside any other time or place.

    Like meeting one’s dentist in the grocery store. There’s a shift. There’s a moment when you have to rethink who you are dealing with. And for those of us with body issues? Well… it’s an opportunity to see the full tapestry of who we are as women.

    Posted by Lady Kona at 10:32 am Tagged with: , ,

    It's Pride. How Gay are you?

    Dykes, Sapphists & Other Cousins 2 Responses »
    Jul 222009

    I’m planning to be a big ‘ole queer during Vancouver’s Pride. There’s all kinds of LeatherDyke events I’m attending during August.

    So… Stockholm Pride has this nifty thing that asks “How Hetero are you?” based on an analysis of one’s Twitter feed. Quote “the way our fellow humans judge us can be based on the words we use as well as who’s hand we’re holding.”

    1% Heteroladykona is 1% HeteroHow hetero are you? Try out any Twitter name and get the real picture. Are we really the words we use? Hope to see you at Stockholm Pride!

    Apparently, the words “butch, community, pride, gay, and ass” in my Twitter feed determined my “hetero” percentage. Am I surprised? Not really. Apparently I have “nothing of it in [me]. Nothing at all.” So… that makes me 99% gay/lesbian/queer… something.

    Wil Weaton of Star Trek fame is 67%, Anthony Robbins is 79% and The Mayor of Vancouver doesn’t use cliche words and so the the system can’t figure it out.

    I was gonna start typing in the queers and sex-positive folk I follow on Twitter but I was skeered. What if they are waaay more hetero than I thought? What then?

    Wonder what the 1% in me consists of? Wonder what part of my body is hetero? My knee cap? An ear? Maybe one of my hips? What do you think?

    Got suggestions?

    Posted by Lady Kona at 7:21 pm Tagged with:

    LeatherDyke Pride in Vannie & QueerErotica too

    Arts & Culture, Culture & Community, Dykes, Sapphists & Other Cousins No Responses »
    Jul 212009

    My plan is to be an out proud homo this Pride. It will be the first spent together for me and my boi and I want to soak up all the gay I can possibly stand.

    Below is a smattering of where you can expect to find me over the coming weeks, but it is in no way the full list. I’m still figuring out all the goodness for Pride in Art and picking films for Out on Screen!

    Canadian Mayhem’s Bride of Pride party will of course be a highlight, and I plan to do the Dyke March and the Annual Pride Parade with the Mayhem banner. Join us as we walk? Drop a line into the comments!

    How about you? If you are in and around Vancouver, what are you up to this Pride. Will I see you there?

    Canadian Mayhem presents…

    The Bride of Pride Party
    Friday, July 31, 2009
    A kinky, sexy party for all Queer Women in Vancouver

    http://canadianmayhem.com

    Bride of Pride is a BDSM/sex playparty for kinky women* into queer, woman-to-woman BDSM. Dress in whatever makes you feel good, bring your toys and your playpartners, and come join us! We encourage costumes and flights of fancy, but we won’t turn you away if you’re not in fetishwear! Just for fun, we’ll have a few special theme areas, like puppy play, and ageplay and wrestling space and more!

    Doors 8 pm – midnight, Party until 1 am.
    The WISE Hall, 1882 Adanac St, Vancouver.

    *Who’s Invited:   All past, present and future women, of any orientation (homo, bi, hetero, trans), who enjoy woman-to-woman kink and BDSM. Women of all experience levels are welcome! Transguys welcome!

    Tickets will be $15 in advance, or $20 at the door.
    Details: http://canadianmayhem.com

    Dykes on Bikes @ The DykeMarch 2009

    Saturday, August 1

    http://www.vancouverdykemarch.com/
    Gather 11:30am at the west wide of McSpadden Park.
    Starts at noon.

    Dykes on Bikes @ the Pride Parade 2009

    Sunday, August 2

    For those starting on the East Side
    (Oh, the joys of the queer-women biker gang run through the heart of the city…)

    Commercial and 3rd Ave. Between 10 & 10:30 arrival, leave the east end for the west end at 11 am.
    Parade starts at Robson and Thurlow! http://www.vancouverpride.ca/parade-route
    Offical start time is noon… bykes arrive at Robson & Thurlow at 11am (or earlier, or later).
    Go to the head of the parade. No paperwork required.

    Details, Parade Guidelines and BykeDykes mailing list!
    http://bykedykes.vancouverleather.com/

    LEATHERDYKE Post-Pride Picnic in the Park

    MONDAY, August 3

    4pm –> 8pm
    Where: Trout Lake / John Hendry Park 3350 Victoria Drive, southeast corner

    Highly informal. Free. All welcome. A bunch o’ leatherdykes are throwing down blankets, laughs, and good company. Come on down, bring your partner/s, friends (kink-friendly), a blanket, food n drink, something to share, chairs, sunscreen…and most importantly, yourself! (*In good weather only)

    http://www.vancouverleather.com/pride2009

    Queerotica

    Thursday, August 6th, 2009

    Back again with an evening of LIVE readings of queer erotic fiction and poetry from some of Vancouver’s hottest writers!
    Starts at @ 7:31pm sharp @ The Roundhouse Community Arts and Recreation Centre
    Vancouver, BC, Canada as part of the Pride in Art Festival 2009

    $5 (suggested donation) goes to support the artists directly!
    Produced by Elaine Miller and Afuwa Granger
    http://elainemiller.com/queerotica

    Posted by Lady Kona at 5:03 am Tagged with: , ,

    Snapshot of the week ending : 2009-07-20

    Reflections & Ruminations No Responses »
    Jul 202009
    • Spending time with my father makes it clear why I’m a CONSENSUAL dominant and watching him interact w/ females reminds me why I’m queer. #
    • Commercial entertainment, & porn go online to increase sustainability. Not the Tribe & community. Why? Does Fetlife help- Really? #
    • Black people, on average, are more likely to die of cancer than white people. Is part of that difference genetic? http://bit.ly/tWf3a #
    • Sunday – Dim sum with leather dykes and a nyotaimori protocol dinner with other assorted pervs. Who says I’m not fellowshipping? #

    Powered by Twitter Tools.

    Posted by Lady Kona at 11:59 pm Tagged with: , , ,

    Outing within our Culture

    Culture & Community No Responses »
    Jul 182009

    One of the things I love about parties with a dress code is that all persons present take a ~risk~ in being there. If I see my dentist… well, then both of us are in a position to out the other. There is some safety in that.

    When a member of the leather/kink/fetish “culture” engages in outing it harms ALL of us. It harms our sense of trust with one another and if it is done publicly it harms the reputation of our community. Aside from the voyeuristic horror of it, to those who are not friendly, it also suggests that part of our morally reprehensible lifestyle (yep, I heard that once) is a lack of integrity amongst ourselves. For those who have not yet made it into the fold or even to the steps of the doorway it does nothing to make things seem friendly or welcoming.

    I’d like to think that we flirt consciously with danger. Having a betrayer, a snitch, a rat amongst us is not good.

    A man I respect has asked about accountability for outing to presenters and organizers on Fetlife. For him it is clearly a question of community safety within our culture. I think he is onto something very knotty and difficult to unpick. How do we safe guard ourselves from those amongst us who may not have integrity or who are malicious or ambitious, etc?

    I’ve seen a LOT of mouths close over the years here in Vancouver and seen those without history fall prey. I’ve stood by and let it happen I’ve stepped in and shared my knowledge. I have been inconsistent in my actions.

    We ask for references for a reason. But like in a job situation, we all all likely to give those that look upon us favourably. Depending on the person being spoken about there can be some pretty careful language if there is a perceived risk to speak the truth as one knows it.

    I could go on, but I’m boring myself.

    I’d like to think that if a standard of behaviour was set by “community leaders” that it might be something adopted by all. My sense is that the increased interest I see in Leather, and in protocols has some link to a desire for predictable behaviour that carries with is communal consequences.

    Abandoning my own blah, blah, blah…

    !Kona

    Posted by Lady Kona at 5:59 pm Tagged with: , ,

    Snapshot of the week ending : 2009-07-13

    Reflections & Ruminations No Responses »
    Jul 132009

    Last week there was a strong Olympic presence. This week it’s all about being Black. Well… mostly.

    On the queer front, I went to a screening of the pre-production, final cut of Aerlyn Weissman’s film for Out on Screen the Portside. Good film. You should see it. Can I say how fun it was to see that bathroom makeout scene with Crema and Illena? How hot are they?

    And let me tell you… Vancouver really does need a queer community centre. I’ve been going to meetings on the subject for a while. Yes, it’s true. Action needs to occur. A good question was asked; What are you prepared to do. Considering how long I’ve had the deam of a facility… a lot.

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    Posted by Lady Kona at 11:59 pm Tagged with: , ,

    Snapshot of the week ending : 2009-07-06

    Reflections & Ruminations No Responses »
    Jul 062009

    The Olympics occurring in Vancouver next year have been on my mind a lot. Maybe because the frenetic pace of gearing up has been increasing at my work place.I link and link and link to stories.

    Simultaneously, I see stories about movement forward in the sex-positive world. I link and link and link…

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    Posted by Lady Kona at 11:59 pm Tagged with: , ,
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