FetLife’s Racism Rant III

So, like a fool I log on before I’ve had coffee or taken my morning shit. STOOOPID.

Some dude comes online: Some black kids in a cafeteria were using it and a white teach said she was offended and the kids looked at her…. and, what if the word in play was faggot…

So I went off and was not polite. JEH-ZUS. I’ll be a little more clear here than there. what I catually wrote is further on.

Dude: children and mad dogs get a different measuring stick than those masquerading as adults. And, Dude, is “faggot” the BEST you can do? Really? Did you think through the non-existent argument before you hit submit? Did you think we would do the work for you and just KNOW what your point was? ‘Cause in the absence of accompanying analysis… I’m judging you. Sorry. Try again. OK?

A poster brought up her position of power and how that related to her use of the word. I was thankful to her for bringing power into the conversation. Class should be there and so should geographic culture.

But ultimately this is Race 101 shit. It’s people on the playground pretending to be adults. There ain’t a lot of smart so I’m not certain why I continue to go wading. I will say that EM dived in a couple times and as always she wrote in a smart accessible way. And ya know what? Folks took it personally and DIDN’T get it. GAWD. You don’t have to agree people! Just get it and abe additive to the conversation!

I’m totally revising my egotistic view that kinksters are smarter than the average meat suit walking around out there. I did it once with a group of lesbians online and again online with a group of LeatherDykes (a lot of that is archived in this blog). My Sisterly-Frenemy FF is right and I keep wanting to deny it: folks just ain’t that bright around this. They want to ignore or forget or justify or defend or protect or whatever. There isn’t ACTUALLY a lot of good will around “gettting it”.

I tend to think that I am intermediate in an advanced world. That I have a lot to learn and there are lots of folks out there who are waaay smarter than me. I feel like I spend a lot of time trying to catch up and to be worthy to open my mouth. I’m vociferous when I speak, and often seem positional, but usually I’m just wanting people to be more clear and to intelligently back their shit. I love being wrong actually. It’s an opportunity to learn and that is porn to me. Different than office supply porn but just as powerful…

Mama is tired. And NO. Not everyone reading this gets to call me that.

Here’s want I ranted next:

To reiterate…

If I [] have a social contract with a specific person/s that allow them to call me [dyke/kyke/faggot/pervert/paki/ass-gobbler/goat-fucker/etc]… that does NOT entitle anyone else.

Hear that? NO. ONE. ELSE.

Please note that the word nigger has been replaced. And yeah. It is that cut and dry. I repeat: it ain’t right to use the word in the context of “those ___ “, “I know that _____  “, we all know that ____”. That’s not using the word to talk about something. That’s talking about someONE. And it’s hurtful and uncivil.

In my world there are people who call me “Mama”. Pretty benign. Not everyone has leave to do so. My niece, when she was 3 coined a nickname for me (so cute at that age when they’re learning to talk) and the name has lingered through into her 20′s. NO ONE out side my family has leave to use it. NO. ONE.

Look. People get to have agency over themselves. Get that? It’s not OK to physically bash another and it shouldn’t be OK t bash another verbally or psychically or spiritually. Sticks and stones may break bones but a lot of people would be out of jobs and a whole sector wouldn’t exist if it was true the names can never hurt.

Again I address the topic brought up by the OP. I repeat: use the word to talk sanely and intelligently. Use it within personal social contracts. Use it in the creation of art. Consider the use. Consider who you are and who you’re speaking to, where you are, and who is around. Consider the source of the word when you hear/read it. Yep, context is important.

Look, people, the question originally posted was can nigger be used when talking about racism. I’d suggest that defense of why one should use it casually in their lives is a different conversation! Justifying why one should use it in public and with friends and family and colleagues, etc is a DIFFERENT conversation. Explaining why you feel the right to drop nigger (or any other type word) is a DIFFERENT conversation.

And if THAT is the conversation that people want to ACTUALLY have, well, I’m all out of balm to soothe your savage guilt and the last of the permission has been ladled out to myself to have booze in my morning coffee.

There are a lot of people on this thread who are being PERSONALLY triggered by the word racism and I ain’t got time to triage my way through. Pay me and I’ll consider putting in that work.

Now. You wanna talk about why or why it shouldn’t be used in conversations about rasicm. Bring it. I’ve loaded my posts with it. You wanna justify how it should be OK to do it when/where ever to whom ever? You wanna get me to teach you more than I’ve taught already on this thread?

Well… I’m gonna drink my boozy coffee and silently judge you before moving on to catch up on my blog.