PimpDom

Goodness… there certainly is a lot of the “Church of the One True Way” around… Can Pimps be Dominants? Can pimps/prostitutes be in the lifestyle?  YEESH. The people I talk to…

Do any of you KNOW any Sex Trade Workers? ‘Cause I know a pile. For some it is supplemental, others it is recreational, others it is a practice/craft, and for some it is about food and shelter. For some it is a mix. However, none of the people I know (females, males, M2F, F2M) are “street entrenched” which I **think** is where this conversation tends to be located without specification. The way I know these people? Through the local, PNW and international conference circuit’s BDSM community. Yes. There is representation of POCs in there too.

Few things:

1) Are we talking about Survival Sex Trade Workers? Or are we talking about people (eg Dominatrixes, massage parlor workers, brothel workers, models, strippers, porn workers, escorts, etc.) who are making CHOICES about what they are doing?

2) Regardless, what one does to earn a living and what they do recreationally are not necessarily the same thing even if the same individuals and behaviours are involved. There is no reason why a Sex Trade Worker couldn’t be involved in BDSM. No reason why a submissive and dominant might not choose to use the same “language” as they do while “earning”.

3) For a time, at the considered and agreed upon request of my charge, I pimped. None of the things that Coffee described were part of the scenario. Our association was 24/7. We lived together. There was none of the “abuse” coffee refers to.  I took the money. Things changed between us (unrelated) and we are no longer together. I understand this person to still be working in-call. The person continues to be masochistic but now identifies as a switch.

4) People get to call themselves any-damned-thing they want to. That includes LordMasterDomKissMyAss or MistressQueenLadyImYerBoss. Now. I may not call you that depending on my relationship to you. But if you want to call yourself PimpDom or N*ggaSlaveFred… you go right ahead. Freedom of speech is also about defending what you wouldn’t say. The “lifestyle” uses the words Master and Slave which I find offensive. I don’t use them except for when it is easier or I’m too tired. But I know lots of people who use them. Generally I what I see are people are practicing amnesia and blindess around the words. White people and Black. Whatever. They are part of the common vernacular. Maybe one day there will be a shift and we’ll speak about POWER (which is the implication behind the labels) rather than ROLES.

5) I don’t know how many events that I have been to where folks “roleplay” Pimp and Whore. Anyone know people who are into Rape Play? I know both self-confessed non-consensual rapists (I was shocked) and survivors who participate. How about Play involving significant age differences? How about puppies/ponies/etc? Are the ghostings of bestiality, child abuse, or rape better? ‘Cause we have all KINDS of language, framing and reference points for that.

6) I would posit that Pimping can be a lifestyle. Is it “The” lifestyle? Well, if you are a swinger, then what most of us do here (BDSM) is not “The Lifestyle.” Anyone read the book by the same name? that community (global english speakers) people refer to it as “The Lifestyle.” Interesting, eh? “”We”‘ call what we do a “Lifestyle” or ‘The Lifestyle.” Guess what? Pimping has a language that has a vernacular, conventions, awards, heroes, legends, best practices, values, history etc. the are those who ONLY hang out with others in their “Lifestyle.” The same can be said for me (Dykes and LeatherPeople). Or some of my clients (I’m a cultural industries worker and deal with arts and culture practitioners)

7) I know tales of “Lifestyle” people who abuse their charges in all kinds of ways. Bet you do too. I’m not prepared to draw evaluative lines around who suffers more when “abuse” is the adjective being used by the victim/survivor or those who are witness.

8) Sex Trade Workers are entitled to have agency over their bodies.

That’s it. I’ve bored myself with my ramblings.