Intense D/s Doesn't equal Bad Top

I’m troubled by the “bad” top talk.

And the notion that most sincere people are doing the best they can at any given moment.

And what about a top that wants to be true to who they think they are?

I remember some shit going ’round about me and my “aftercare”. Well you know what? I don’t DO aftercare. Not in the ways that I see it being done by many people. I know that I have things about how I run friendships that others find intolerable. Fine. If you need me to call your ass once a week so that you know I’m your friend… it ain’t gonna happen.

What we need and want as individuals isn’t always a match to what others want or expect from us.

As tops and bottoms both, when a person says to us “this is the way it is” or “you did this and I feel that” sometimes it is an opportunity to get clear about ourselves and the other. To dig around inside of ourselves. As I’ve said before (prompted by experiences with a particular person in the community) I should know better than to expect that snake to hop like a bunny. And snakes are fine. Just ask a herpetologist. If you think your top/bottom is one and it starts to display traits of the other… perhaps one needs to do an internal check-in.

I’m not making sense. I’m distracted by needing to get to the airport.

I can’t help but think if we did more of these conversations face to face as groups that we woudl all be better for it.