D/s is Not EQUIVALENT to Abuse

I beleive firmly in two things connected to D/s life:

1) a bottom/submissive/charge/slave/property has ONE overriding responsibility: To protect the property. Which is to say… themselves. Protect and hold it in trust for the person they are presently in service to and/or the one of the future.

2) as a top/dominant/master/owner that my primary responsibility in ongoing associations is to leave those in my care in better shape than when we came together.

I’m horrified by the wrecks I see in our community. Broken, damaged, wounded without care-taking…

And I’m horrified by how powerless we seem to be when it comes to being able to address physical/mental abuse in our power dynamic based relationships.

Hell. I know I’m guilty of keeping silent about the abusive behaviours I’ve encountered (yes, even toppy non-switchy Gals like me encounter the issue). I’d like to yell and scream about a couple of things, but I’ve chosen to tell a few people even fewer details; disclosed completely to one who was in the process of considering an association; and to hold my truth like a precious coal or lump of sour dough starter. If it was possible to take my story somewhere I would. But… indeed… How would we decide who was capable of making those decisions?

I don’t know the players in all the stories that I know are out there and that have been shared with me. But stripping the names, and assuming that there is personal truth… it saddens me. And I hope that the the folks who have experienced it will not recoil from what moves inside. I hope people will speak up about the underlying issues and concepts around the issue of abuse as opposed to the specifics of individual stories.