Body Betrayal

My collegue asked me:

How do you feel?

 And lacking the strength not to unload I said:

Like shit.

I’m tired, and I’m scared, and I’m tired of feeling scared, and all of my emotions are TOO close to the surface. Especially, as I said to my supervisor today, when one has to function in a corporate world where one is supposed to suck it up and keep responding to e/v-mail with their severed arm dangling or while delivering a baby, etc. I feel like my integrity is at stake. I feel like a burden to the office, my colleagues and to the tax payer. I’m conscious of not pulling my weight while my workspace mate drowns under her load and I don’t want to face the office.

I woke up this morning and was a strange mixture of surprised and disappointed.

Sorry. You asked.

**sigh** More in time probably…